valentine's day plans or lack thereof

Some thoughts regarding the upcoming Valentine's Day:

1. I used to REALLY like Valentine's Day. Strangely, I think all the years I really liked Valentine's Day happened while I was single. To me, then, Valentine's Day was about expressing love to everyone, friends and family. Valentine's Day was not about romance but appreciation and gratitude. I took the opportunity to be a reminder to myself to love others. What happened?

2. I guess that happened was that I succumbed to all of the socio-cultural hype. The norms inculcated into me by popular media and, perhaps more disappointingly, my social network and/or friends. When people start asking whether or not you have Valentine's Day plans, you start thinking that you should, and if you don't, there's obviously something wrong with you or your relationship.

3. But I didn't buy into all of the social norms, particularly, the one that says that the entire burden of responsibility falls on the man (in a heterosexual relationship). I also don't think the proper way to celebrate or acknowledge Valentine's Day necessarily includes chocolates, candy, and flowers. Although having a more restricted sense of what the holiday entails would be so much easier.

4. Instead, there is now lots of ambiguity. Nobody is really in charge (unlike birthdays, in which case the non-birthday-haver should take more responsibility for planning). There's no specific script to follow -- buy a gift, buy no gift, go out, stay in. And if there is anything I have discovered about myself (or that has been discovered onto me) in the last few years of living, it's that I deal with uncertainty very poorly.

5. So all in all, my feelings about Valentine's Day are mixed. Even more so because of all the newspaper, magazine, and blog articles about how to celebrate Valentine's Day without breaking the bank (given the economic crisis and all) suggesting that a really great way to celebrate Valentine's Day on a budget is to "Make your partner a home-cooked dinner." Because it'll be really special and all. Maybe it would be more special if I didn't already do that five times a week.

I think I would be much happier back at one.

how the rain sounds

The sound of rain falling on the roof at night is wonderful. It is improved if I have a hot cup of tea or am tucked into blankets. It is degraded by the sound of traffic that whizzes by. I remember falling in love in an unusually rainy winter in L.A., and the sound becomes magic.

rats are kid pets

I have been thinking about how I have this perception of rats as being kid pets. You don't think of grown people as having pet rats, really, unless they are the sort of person with characteristics that make them seem not quite fully adult. Before we ended up having rats ourselves, the person I had most recently encountered having rats fit this stereotype. This guy with rats had a dark room with shelves full of board games and card games, and his house had fantasy art (like, D&D style) on the walls.

I think the thing about pet rats is this: they are a non-committal sort of pet. A convenience pet. A trainer pet. A pet that is not a burden, because rats don't live very long. You are making a 2 or 3 year commitment when you get a pet rat. A cat or a dog will probably be around for 10, maybe 15 years. I know that this is at least one reason we got rats -- because one member of this two-person household said that he did not want to rush into making a decision that would last 10 or 15 years.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about this idea of investing in things (in a non-monetary context) -- primarily relationships, but also things like work and leisure activities. I have also been considering the notion of "You get what you pay for." I think the principle applies to rats as pets. I think that the short-term commitment / minimal investment involved probably reaps proportional rewards. Rats don't ask for much, but they probably don't give a lot back either. Although I like our rats and appreciate that they display sociability and intelligence, I don't think the emotional rewards and relationship is comparable to long-haul pets. Of course, even if they were, I'm not even sure I would want to become so deeply attached to something I know is only going to live for 2 years.

belated resolutions

Two weeks into the new year, and I am finally getting around to coming up with some new year's resolutions. Better late than never, right? Which brings me to the first one...

1) I will do important tasks before the last minute (or beyond). Mostly, this goal has to do with creating self-imposed deadlines for those tasks that are not urgent but are important. It is particularly applicable to tasks which I perceive to be onerous. In order to ensure that tasks are done in a timely manner, I will create checklists with small, specific actions that should be accomplished in order to complete the task or reach the end goal. Fulfillment of this resolution will allow me to be less anxious, more relaxed, and feel less guilty. The quality of work I produce will also be higher, and I will be proud of what I have done.

2) I will not go two days in a row without some sort of physical activity. The standards for what counts as physical activity can be lax -- a 20 minute walk, 10 minutes of jumproping, 500 jumping jacks, 3 sets of push-ups. But there should be some exercise every day, or at a minimum, every other day. This will improve my general well-being. My mood will be better, since exercise is a known enhancer of mood. I will be more alert because of the oxygen circulating through my body. More generally, this is also good for health.

3) I will not drink soft drinks. When I am looking for a little caffeine boost, I will drink tea instead. Bored? Water will do. This will help me not to feel bloated, as sodas sometimes cause me to. Also, my teeth won't decay from all of the acid, like those teeth kids use in their science fair projects about soda pop.

4) I will be thankful for what I have rather than dwelling on all the things I want. I will get rid of the things that I have but don't need. I will be okay with giving or even throwing these things away if necessary. This will make my life better by making my living environment less cluttered (me, more relaxed). It will reduce the hassle of constantly having to deal with the extra stuff as it takes up space and collects dust. In the future, I will not have accumulated so many things that they become a burden. This also includes being thankful and not critical of not-so-tangibles, like relationships, family, being employed, and nice weather.

5) I am going to read the books I have purchased but not read. I am going to spend more time reading books and less time reading blogs and the news online. It's not that I have anything against blogs or online news, but I think I do it in excess. Blog and news reading is shallow and frenetic, whereas reading books takes focus and is deep. I think taking time again to read books will help me become a more focused person. Also I won't feel like I have wasted my money to just have books that take up space.

6) I will blog even when I don't feel like blogging. I will remind myself that my future self will wish that my past self had been the blogging sort.

I opened the windows to change the air, and it is loud outside.

Looking for Netflix for shoes

I need a shoe collective. Lately while tidying various areas of home and car I've been reminded of the fact that I have too many shoes that I bought for a specific or occasion, worn them once and never again. It displeases me. Not so much because I feel the money has been wasted (I refuse to pay much for these shoes), but because all of these one-time-use shoes are taking up space.

Possible solutions:
1. Refuse to succumb to social pressure that requires that shoes and outfit match in terms of color and formality.
2. Refuse to attend occasions where such matching shoes and outfit are required.
3. Find a shoe collective where I can rent shoes for specific occasion and return them immediately thereafter.
4. Be more willing to get rid of unused shoes, perhaps at Goodwill.

Option #4 sounds the most promising at the moment.

$2 coin-operated car wash.

I finally washed my car today, after several months of neglecting to do so. The accumulation of filth upon my car had seemed gradual, but I think it had lately reached a level where the amount of additional dirtiness necessary for me to perceive that it was actually becoming more dirty was severe.

I learned something about this fact of human perception, perhaps in my high school psychology class. When a stimulus is rather strong, the amount of increase necessary for humans to perceive the change becomes greater. I think the example I learned from back then was sugar in iced tea. If you have no sugar in the iced tea, after you add a heaping tablespoon you can notice the change. But once you've dumped half a cup of sugar into your iced tea, the addition of a tablespoon will not taste like much. Unfortunately I don't know what this phenomenon is called, so I cannot cite it here.

So anyway, my car had reached a level of dirtiness that caused additional dirtiness to be imperceptible. I started to feel embarrassed about the uncleanliness of my car. And in a series of events over the last several days, which included 1) dreading that my mother would see my dirty car when my parents came to attend my thesis defense, 2) attending a friend's wedding at a fancy house in the hills and having to hand my car over to (and pick it up from) valet attendants, and 3) deciding to park around the corner from my parents' place, so as not to smear our mothers day visit with dirt from my car. So this morning I knew what had to be done.

I pondered the manner in which I should wash my car. The first option was to wash it in our apartment's tiny parking lot -- once when I had talked to my neighbor about my dirty car with chagrin, he offered the hose he had for the water spout out back. Also I could take it to one of these hand car was places (although maybe they are a combination of machine and hand car wash) all over Los Angeles. But an investigative report that the Los Angeles Times printed a couple of months ago made me feel like these are shady operations. I didn't really want to get involved. Finally, I could take it to a coin-operated car wash and spraying it clean myself. There are also quite a few of these places around L.A. And option #3 is what I chose.

The coin-operated car was is a pretty good deal. It cost me $3, or 12 quarters, which is a pretty good deal considering that I spent $1 somewhat frivolously on 4 minutes of car VAC, not that there was so much dirt inside my car. So the wash itself was two bucks. The nozzle sprays different liquids. I used the spot free stuff (a foamy blue cleaner) and HIGH PRESSURE RINSE. The hose really sprays water out in a high pressure way. I felt as though, if bad guys approached or something, I could turn the hose on them and blast them into oblivion, or at least knock them onto their behinds. There wasn't a really good way to dry the car off afterwards. They didn't have any blow dry equipment as far as I could tell, though a couple people were using rags to wipe their cars down.

All in all, the car is now clean and I am proud. Why didn't I think of doing this a long time ago?

$2 coin-operated car wash. Small price to pay for a bit of self worth, confidence, pride.

popsicle stick crafts

On my evening walk along Venice Blvd (always heading west, then coming back up east) I saw a bird fly by with a stick in its beak, as though it were collecting construction materials for its nest. I turned my head as it flew by, and my eyes followed it to a ledge above a convenience store. It landed and walked towards its nest, presumably to add the popsicle stick it had just procured from the streets of Los Angeles.

Dissertation writing takes its toll

1. My car is so dirty that it's no longer recognizable as white, and I worry when I'm driving that I'll get pulled over for having illegally tinted windows.

2. My hair is longer than it has been any time in recent memory. I think I'm also losing my hair because it gets pulled off when I take out hairbands. A haircut would be a good thing.

3. My right contact lens is partially torn. Not a tear right down the center, but a tear in the corner, and I am out of replacements so I will keep wearing this one until I am bothered to make an eye appointment. My eye used to get irritated because of the tear, but I have been wearing my broken lens for months.

4. We haven't been to the gym in forever. That discounted corporate membership to Ballys, alas, going to waste. I feel myself getting increasingly soft and blob-like.

5. The pile of recycleables continues to accumulate, not just in the apartment (since we would be overwhelmed), but in our vehicles. The other night I dreamt of being buried alive in all of this recycleable trash.

6. We actually managed to run out of scratch paper. We figured it would never end, some six or nine months ago, which is why we were willing to recycle a whole bunch of it. Statements from our financial institutions that come in the mail have become fair game.

7. We had Hamburger Helper for dinner last night (not with real hamburger), which I am convinced was the cause of my evening-long gastrointestinal woes. Yes I did add spinach, and OK, it tasted pretty decent, but is stuff that come out of a box ever really food? Ok, so I was curious about it because I had never tried any and a friend was eating it. But that's besides the point.

The point is that dissertation writing hasn't been all that bad (nobody died and no animals were harmed in the process), the whole experience is practically over, it's seriously an excuse that I use not to take care of random stuff that I've decided is not urgent. It will be great to take care of these silly, day-to-day, kinds of things once the dissertation is over and done.

kefir

Kefir: yogurt for people who like liquids better.

Workin' like a gherkin

I'm not sure how I inadvertently turned our blog (well, mostly my blog) into a food blog. It was unintentional, but probably related to the fact that it's pretty easy to blog stuff based on photographs, and I tend to take pictures of food. Also, I'll blame Cathy at My Epikorean for getting me all excited about her decision to food blog.

Anyway, completely unrelated to food (?), we the residents of Apartment C have been pretty on-task all day. Allowing time for meals and bathroom breaks and the occasional venture off-task to Wikipedia or YouTube, it ended up being some 12 or 13 hours of straight-up MENTAL LABOR. I was hoping for 15, because then I think someone should publish a book with the title, Writing Your Dissertation in 15 Hours a Day. Because, you know, writing your dissertation in 15 minutes a day is for the weak. Or, alternatively, for the disciplined and well-organized.

Nevertheless, I think we are both seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, a tunnel which has been twisty and windy and included trails off the path now and then. Still, (I think) I can't wait to get out.

Where can I get some tran fats? Nowhere, according to US labeling

I had a revelation at the drug store as I was checking out a package of ethnic-looking cookies at CVS's "food" section. I have never seen Nutrition Information claiming a product to contain trans fat.

When I first heard that food manufacturers would need to start labeling the amount of trans fat in their products, I was thrilled. When the new labels started to appear a year or two ago (though not legally required in the U.S. until January 1st, 2008) I was surprised to find that a number of products I had assumed to contain trans fat (due to their listing of partially hydrogenated oils in their list of ingredients) claimed to have none. Then I learned that food companies were allowed to round down. If the amount of trans fat per serving was less than 0.5 grams, they could label the amount as 0 (while having to advertise as NO TRANS FATS per serving). I thought this was sort of a cheap play, to allow rounding in such a manner (0.49 grams/serving could get away with 0).

According to the FDA (according to Wikipedia), the average American consumes 5.8 grams of trans fat per day (2.6% of calories.) But I bet if you added up the number of grams of trans fat on the labels of everything the average American consumes, you will get a big fat zero. The labeling requirements in Canada allow products with less than 0.2g of trans fat per serving to advertise 0/serving.

Upon realizing that I have never seen anything above 0, it made me wonder whether companies have dropped the amount of hydrogenated oils in their recipes, or whether it has always been the case that labeling the amount of trans fat per serving would always allow it to appear as though there are none. Which makes me wonder what you have to eat in order to see any Nutrition Info change. Because it would be funny if we forced everyone to change their labeling, just so that everyone could label the amount of trans fat as 0.

Utilitarian Eats - Veggie Patties

I like to spend time preparing meals that are appealing not only taste-wise, but aesthetically as well. But I've been busy (as perhaps is evident by the infrequent blog posts), and sometimes you just eat to live instead of living to eat. I packed lunch to bring to campus today, as I often do. After meals consisting of Powerbars or other similar energy-dense food, this is probably my next most utilitarian meal: two veggie patties.

Mom and dad drove up to LA to have dinner with us last night, and they brought with them a box of Costco-purchased Don Lee Veggie Patties. They're pretty good -- not really the sort of veggie burger stuff I am used to (usually primarily soy-based and attempting to look and feel like meat). Rather, it looks like a mash of carrots, celery, onion, and hash browns with some sunflower seeds mixed in. They came fresh, not frozen. The flavor is quite decent. After microwaving them for a minute in my tupperware-esque container, I mashed it up with a spoon so that it would look more like a meal.

I think the two mashed-up veggie patties are not as efficient eats as protein bars. I think a major advantage of a protein or other energy bar is that they require no preparation whatsoever besides unwrapping the bar. I actually had to put the veggie patties into the tupperware container this morning, and remember to pack a utensil of some sort. The protein bars, however, you can unwrap and instantly eat on the go. You just bite pieces off -- there's no need for a fork or a spoon.

How much longer must we wait for the meals in a pill that we were promised by the Jetsons?

Real, Korean kimchi

real, Korean kimchi
Originally uploaded by eraine.

Ever since our visit to Korea in January, I've been regularly craving kimchi. I didn't go out of my way to find any. I just put some in my basket while shopping at VONS. But while telling some people about this, the Real Live Koreans expressed dismay that I had been eating VONS kimchi and recommended that I get some higher quality kimchi from the Korean market.

So yesterday on my way home from campus I went through Koreatown and stopped by The Galleria at Olympic & Western in search of quality kimchi.

At the supermarket, it took me a while to get to the kimchi section. I entered near the produce and made my way across the store to the frozen section, and I felt a sort of buildup as I wondered when I would run into the kimchi. When I finally saw it, I was not disappointed. The humongous jars of kimchi I saw were Costco-worthy, and now I am really curious as to how long the huge jars ($18.99) would last a Korean family of four. Cathy at Epikorean tells me -- about a week, or two weeks MAX. The kimchi section had kimchi for sale in pouches, in addition to the stuff in jars.

I went home with this (pictured above) 48 oz. container of kimchi. I would say this is a mid-sized container, relative to the rest of the options I had available. I got nappa cabbage kimchi, which I think is the most generic (common?) sort.

About this kimchi, it's pretty spicy. It's more intensely red and spicy than the kimchi I've picked up at VONS in the past, and Alex said "it's because you're white and wimpy". I disagreed about my being white.

So now a question I have is, how much kimchi consumption is too much? Are there dangers of eating too much kimchi? As a probiotic, it's supposed to be good for your intestinal tract and improve your digestion. But all those spices have to be taxing on your system, right?

Easy Spirit -- darn comfortable shoes

In preparation for my campus visit last week, I upgraded elements of my wardrobe. So far I am very satisfied with the expenses incurred.

1. Pant suit set (obtained during Ann Taylor's suit sale) -- quality and classic. I do so much shopping online these days that I was very tempted to get an outfit online. But I did go to the mall, and I was pleased.

2. No-show trouser socks from Target. Pleased, although they are so thin that I'm not sure how they will fare in the washer+dryer. I felt it was necessary to get some socks because even I know better than to match the dark pant suit with my white athletic socks.

3. Black loafers from EasySpirit. I am especially happy about how well these shoes worked out, since I have been the victim of lovely but uncomfortable/painful/torturous (depending how long they are worn) shoes many times before.

As soon as I considered getting interview shoes, I decided that they should be appropriate but comfortable. I wanted to be comfortable, and it was likely that I'd have to do some walking on the campus. I was tempted to try the whole athletic shoes with suit thing, but decided that professional basketball players are the only ones who can get away with that. So for comfortable shoes I headed to EasySpirit. Because even their store name seems comforting.

Although I had never purchased shoes there, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I browsed their selection carefully before trying on a couple pairs. I was in the store for 20 minutes or so. During that time, several people and couples came into and left from the store. Not one of them appeared to be under the age of 50, which caused me to question whether it was okay for me to buy EasySpirit shoes.

But they were comfortable. So I did. And they are still comfortable. I think those older folks are trying to keep this secret for themselves.

the importance of listening to Christmas music right now

Santa Claus is Comin' to Town.

Christmas music is playing in the apartment because I believe it is of utmost importance that we listen to as much Christmas music as possible while we still can. I feel that the opportunity for listening to Christmas music is diminished compared to most years because

(1) all of our Christmas shopping has been done online, and none of the online stores have been playing Christmas music for customers
(2) we will be on an airplane or in international airports during many of the key Christmas-music-listening hours
(3) related to that, we will be out of the country, where I expect we will be less likely to overhear Christmas music played by shopping establishments
(4) also related to that, we will experience even FURTHER loss of potential Christmas-music listening time due to the fact that we are flying into a time zone which is 15 hours ahead of our own (time loss!).

So time is of the essence. O Holy Night.

It has been a while since I have purchased music in a physical form. The only Christmas album that I have ever owned (versus my parents, who have some Christmas music sets that they probably purchased at Costco) is 98 Degreees' This Christmas. I purchased the CD because in colleged I determined that it was absolutely necessary to own all albums by 98 Degrees. But I don't actually have that CD around because I accidentally gifted it to Gena when I gave her my CD player, which unbeknownst to me, had the only Christmas music I have ever owned, inside.

Sleigh Ride. So it's Christmas tunes via streaming radio. Thank Verizon for high speed internet.

Happy Holidays.
A Holly Jolly Christmas.



christmas candles photo originally uploaded by don2g.

at least one sentence per day?

Today I walked to Lincoln (the street), which is 2 miles from here and makes the round-trip a 4-mile walk. From my old place in Palms, I used to do a 4 mile walk up and down Venice from close to Bagley to the 405. The weather this time of year makes an evening walk a bit before sunset very pleasant. Although I don't mind walking alone -- I like to take in my surroundings -- it's also nice to walk with someone else.

new social support group for women

I'm going to start a new social support group for women on their periods.

It will be called "Why the #*$&@# am I bleeding?"

Group activities will involve not swimming, not eating cold foods, wearing dark-colored pants, and generally feeling aggrieved.

Who wants in?

transient summer: how to live temporary

We moved into a 1 bedroom apartment in Mountain View on a three-month lease (not easy to find, some complexes wanted a couple hundred/mo more rent , and most would not lease for less than six months. Alex will be here for about three months; I'll be here now for a little less than two.

Being here has made me realize that I take for granted a lot of things that less transient people typically have in their homes. Like cooking utensils. A can opener. Soap. I've also realized that, despite the fact that I consider myself to require very little maintenance, I need a fair amount. I'm unhappy sitting in an empty apartment to be alone with my thoughts. You'd think that being in an environment without the distractions of social interaction, toys, and media would be incredibly conducive to work and dissertation-writing, but the opposite turns out to be the case -- instead of hours of productivity and accomplishment, the empty box leaves me feeling mostly despair.

That last sentence was more dramatic than it needed to be. Some people don't have enough to eat or a roof over their head -- further evidence that humans judge by comparison rather than objective assessment. Anyway, my solution to this problem is to try to be out elsewhere as much as possible. The City library (where I am right now) is within walking and biking distance, and is quite nice.

I wish I were staying longer so that I'd actually try to settle in rather than just get by or make do. I wish we had a microwave oven, chairs, and stable Internet. I wish I didn't know that our L.A. subletter didn't have it so much better than I do. But maybe he wishes our place had a pool.

tired and sleepless

My superhero power is on the fritz. What power? Being able to fall asleep nearly instantly, almost anytime and anywhere. I've fallen asleep in odd positions, in the middle of a phone conversation, even standing during a loud rock concert at least once. Yet I've been in bed and out of bed and back into bed for an hour and not yet a minute of shut eye. I think it's a combination of residual caffeine in my system and anxiety about the events to come in the next few days. Alex and houseguest playing multiple rounds of a usually lengthy and engaging computer game late at night may not help. If my day tomorrow wasn't supposed to start so early, I wouldn't mind as much. But I know that I'll be hating my alarm clock in the morning more, with each sleepless minute that passes. Physically I feel exhausted. And I have a phone interview tomorrow (I don't know what time!)

The key aspect of the phenomenological experience of this mild insomnia is that I feel far too many thoughts running through my head, one after another, each one interrupting the one before and leading me down a new path. This symptom causes me to believe that my inability to fall asleep is due to overactivity in my brain. I don't remember how long ago it would have been, but before I discovered my power of instasleep, I'd sometimes have trouble falling asleep. And I used to have the exact same feeling. My trick back then was to visualize numbers as I counted down from 99. I will try that. If that fails, I'll imagine a relaxing, tranquil scene. Like a waterfall or a beach. Or what life will be like a week from today.

Maybe I should test a new set of earplugs. We still have enough.

Joke of the Day - ridiculous scenario and word play

Not that long after my decision to actively be more positive, I started going to a Joke of the Day site regularly. I'd visit on Wednesday mornings, at the beginning of my marathon day on campus. I'd get to class early and have a few minutes to spare before everyone else arrived. I think it helped, particularly during the middle of the term when everything started to get hectic and crazy. Even though things have calmed down substantially, I still like to check the website and rate a few jokes sometimes.

There are enough jokes in the collection that some are bound to be bad, but today's made me laugh --

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?"
The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. "That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Fri.
"The usual?" she asked. "No, today is Friday. I'll have steak and a coke."
"Me too." says the ostrich. They finish and pay. "That will be $10.95"
The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
The waitress was dumb-founded. "How is it that you always have the exact amount?"
"Well," says the man. "I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared." Wow!" said the waitress. "What did you wish for?"
"I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket." "Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what's with the ostrich?" "Well," said the man. "I also asked for a chick with long legs."

--- insert laughter or groan --

I think I found this joke funny because I like jokes that present ridiculous scenarios / imagery and play on words. It would amuse me to come up with tags for the different types of humor in these jokes. I wonder how much of relational compatibility you can predict simply based on whether two people think the same types of jokes are funny.